I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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