If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
