Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
