Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
