For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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