i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
