We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
