Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
