from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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