i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
