by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
