so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
if only i could text you this smell
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
