dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
