we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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