I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
