you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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