Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
