you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
this hospital has no fireball
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
