if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
