Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
smell my finger.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
