thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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