Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
