He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
