Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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