I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
