2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
