My liver just broke up with me...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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