I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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