I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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