I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
