Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
