What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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