If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize