dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
