I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
