I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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