I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
