by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
