you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
