Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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