I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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