It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
