I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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