His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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