i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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