everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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