Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Randomize
