What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
