i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
