Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize