If i come over, it means nothing
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
