I just cut my nipple shaving
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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