sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
