You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
