a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
no you cant smoke seaweed
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
