My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
