Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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