It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
