one might say we're banned from that church
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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