everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
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