i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize