I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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