TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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