Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
