Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
