well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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