i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
