the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
