Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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