He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
