I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
