fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
