Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
